light at the end of the tunnel....

...i have missed you.

not just sort of, in a way that is tangible but in a way that goes so deep and has been engraved so firmly in my life that i realize that its a feeling that won't pass until i see you again face to face. and yet we percervere and accept the things we can not change.

so we embrace the future:

what are you feelings for capernwray? have you thought of it much? i have been....as well as this:

i sent my application to the ebenzer ministries in last week. who knows where the Lord will lead, but before i continue can i please elaborate on something incredible that happened this past weekend?

...i went to the Messianic Chapel and the service was incredible. there was the dancing with the Rabbi, frolicking around the temple as if we were Jews from Isarel dancing in the streets. the service was long and we prayed for Israel: stood in the direction of Israel and he prayed in Hebrew singing the prayer and we repeated it in English. Oh Kate...these people, God's chosen people are hurting so deeply and their hearts have become so hardened that its so hard for them to see clearly. even the Messianic Jews who believe in Yeshua suffer and have it so difficult. their families don't believe in Jesus and neither do their loved ones; they are ostrosized because they believe in Jesus and aren't supposed to because they are Jewish. the temple has little to no income and are basically bankrupt. Yet through all of this Jesus still provided the light of hope to be spread across the room. my cousin and i went to an Israeli restaurant after the service for lunch. we were sitting and trying new things, new soda, new settings. the manager of the restaurant aproached us and began conversation. the first question he asks us is: "what messianic chapel do you go to?" now, what person asks this...how did he know? why did Jesus press it on his heart to ask this? i still, to this day, do not know if knows Jesus. he said he is from Poland and his grandparents were Jewish. he said he had been to the Messianic chapel we go to and knows the rabbi. what incredible opportunities Jesus opens up to us and yet i was scared out of my mind. i was terrified of what was going on. i didnt know what to say, what to do, for this one reason: i am not a Jew. i am not a part of all of this so why does my heart ache to reach these people? that night (saturday) at youth group a young Jewish girl in high school came. she was given the blatant truth of Jesus Christ and she did not accept it well. afterwords we were able to talk with her and ask her what she thought, how she felt, what her ideas were...and she is blinded. these people are blinded and the Bible said they would be, but for how long? i know your heart and mine both cry out for these people. Kate. God will once again deliver them. i believe it.

right, so the book:

i have started chapter 2 (wonderful to have you back dear sister. Bonnie was doing good?) and will read more tomorrow morning and let you know tomorrow night exactly what the chapter said to me. this past weekend my cousin zander talked about something that reminded me of you and i and it rang so true to my heart: Jesus is madly in love with us. if we try to compare our love for Him with how much He loves us we will forever be striving to please him. but if we just rest in the fact that He is MADLY in love with us and is constantly pursuing us with His love we realize there is nothing we can do to change it. There was more and hopefully I will tie more into it later. I will try to call sometime this week but because of the time difference it might not be until this weekend. What should we do? Write them and ask them if we could come and work this summer? No pressure, we could always wait until this weekend.

I am off to read a Proverb and dive into sleep...I wish we could listen to something and stay awake talking aka whispering and resting by the heater. Perhaps someday....maybe even in Israel.